Santa put the phone down and growled at Rudolph.

“No no no no no”, said Rudolph knowing the look in Santa’s eye, “I’m wrong tell me I’m wrong!”

Santa poured himself a generous whisky. “Double arse!”

“Maybe we can change the sign on the door to say Satan instead of Santa?”, said Rudolph helpfully.

Santa took a large sip of the whiskey, “We tried that last year remember?”, replied Santa despondently.

“Crap”, said Rudolph, ”How about hiring a priest to..”

“Tried already, they are all booked up for Christmas. Its no good. The mother in law is staying for Christmas”